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The Butterfly
Tornado Alley
This review may contain spoilers
"Even though I'm no better than a beast, don't I deserve the right to live?"
Oldboy was an unflinching violent revenge film that would have made a Greek tragedy blush. I watched this film during its 20th anniversary year and the production values held up. The storytelling's misogynistic overtones dated it and didn't hold up as well. I've not mentioned any of the major plot twists in this review.Choi Min Shik as the deeply flawed Oh Dae Soo did a marvelous job transitioning from drunk, philandering husband to confused, bitter prisoner to vengeful vigilante searching for answers. Yoo Ji Tae made a decidedly creepy and vengeful Lee Woo Jin. The two men whose lives were intertwined by a careless comment were at their best when playing cat and mouse.
The action scenes showed that nearly anything can be transformed into a weapon. You may never see toothbrushes the same. A hallway fight leading to an elevator fight were truly iconic and I can see where they influenced many other fight scenes in television and film. Dae Soo's commitment verging on insanity was frighteningly powerful.
Where the film failed me were the women's roles. Their very existence seemed to be as vessels of the men's lust and "love". They played into the men's circle of vengeance with no real identities. Of course, they were necessary to have several gratuitous bare breast shots and being threatened with sexual violence. Mi Do accepted it as perfectly normal when Dae Soo attempted to rape her. And the final plot twist, sick as it was, once again left her without any choice or agency of her own.
While Woo Jin's revenge long game was vile, the film seemed determined to make Dae Soo as unsympathetic as possible from beginning to end. His one moment of empathy was cut short by self-gratification. In the end the film doubled-down on his troubling personality. There was no redemption arc, no moment of healing, no positive character growth, only primal animal instincts. As a thought exercise in tearing away the veneer of civilization, the film succeeded in a disturbing manner.
9/2/23
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This review may contain spoilers
"It's human to lie. Most of the time we can't even be honest with ourselves."
*I have updated this review and my score on a second viewing. My added thoughts follow the original review.*I'm going to post a short, heretical review of this much lauded film. Much as I wanted to love this film, it had a major stumbling block for me in the story.
That the movie is technically well made is not up for debate. It was a well made movie from 1950. I've enjoyed other Kurasawa movies. I love Mifune Toshiro. Rashomon might have been a profound movie experience for me if the story had not been told through such a narrow male lens.
The Rashomon effect is still used to describe eye witnesses giving different testimony to a single event. People do lie to each other, to the court, and to themselves because of their egos, fears, survival instincts, and inability to face the truth. The film showed this human frailty quite poignantly. The cinematography, music, and acting were exceptional for the time. Mifune's performance as the bandit tinged with madness was unexpected but quite well done although at times it did veer into Ernest T. Bass territory.
Where I diverge from the fans of this movie is in one particular aspect of the film. It repeatedly showed and told the viewer that women were not just physically, but morally weaker than men and were not to be trusted. This was even more despicable because the men were shown as being morally corrupt so the raped woman was even lower than they were. Twice we come away with the woman in the story enjoying her rape and trying to use it to her advantage. In different flashbacks she pit the two men against each other or asked the bandit to murder her husband. That she was willing to go with her rapist was beyond comprehension to me, unless she was planning on murdering him in his sleep. I understand that during the period of time the movie was set in, and even in 1950, a raped woman was looked on as damaged goods. (The Comfort Women after WWII were looked down upon and expected to commit suicide and often shunned by their families.) If the director had convinced me that she was doing what she had to do to survive I might have been able to stomach that part of the story better, but as it was shown it built a fire of anger in my chest, not at the woman but the storyteller for perpetuating some of the most dangerous myths about women and rape. Given, it was a common view of the time, but it didn't make it any less reprehensible to me.
Only in the woman's version does she not come across as a conniving "whore", perhaps only a murderous woman to save herself, but we are also told to not believe a woman's story immediately thereafter.
As much as I tried to overlook the misogynistic view of women and rape in this movie to enjoy the rest of the story, I couldn't escape it. Rashomon, despite all the glorious reviews I've read across the internet, failed to live up to them in my experience.
2 September 2021
*Update on my review:*
Having now watched all but one of Kurosawa’s films for which he was the writer/director I decided to revisit this film about the unreliability of eye witness accounts and how truth is often relative, enigmatic, and subjective. I struggled with it mightily the first time because of how women were not only looked down upon but treated with outright hostility. I wanted to see if my opinion would change on a second viewing of this famous and well-loved film.
When asked about Rashomon, Kurosawa had the following comments: “Human beings are unable to be honest with themselves without embellishing…(these characters) are the kind who cannot survive without lies to make them feel they are better people than they really are.” “The human heart is impossible to understand.”
The message that people are weak and even lie to themselves for a variety of reasons still resonates. Also, how perspective and memory are faulty witnesses still holds true. I would have to add that perhaps Kurosawa was blind to the depths of his own gender bias. Other Japanese directors from this time frame and even earlier had made films showing how the patriarchal society caused women to suffer, I guess I was just expecting more from one of my favorite directors. I’ve read interviews with him about this film and he discussed at length how they suffered from leeches while filming in the forest, but not even a brief comment about the trauma or suffering rape causes a woman or how he wanted to show the inequality women suffer from. Instead Tajomaru is romantically described as a womanizer.
Social reform, individual responsibility, and equality were important points in many of Kurosawa’s films. Apparently, just for men. Masago’s rape was only viewed as a crime against her husband, and yes, I know this would be historically accurate. I was just looking for a hint of sympathy for her from any of the male characters since she was the only woman in the film. Her testimony in court was dismissed as irrelevant immediately. When she testified, she didn’t even mention her rape because either she knew no one would care or the writers knew that. The only crime was the samurai's death. The male rape fantasy that women really like it and want to be dominated was still appalling. Just one flicker of disgust from the men telling the story to the peasant, anything to tip the hand that her treatment was inexcusable, but nothing. Because all of the voices except one telling the story or judging it were male—the witnesses, the judge, the writers, the director---Masago’s witness was all but ignored. Masago's only weapon against the dominating men was her sexuality, all she had to try and salvage her situation with and save her life. Perhaps Masago was diabolically cruel and cunning, pitting two men’s penises and swords against each other for her own pleasure, her rapist and heartless, cowardly husband, but as was pointed out, “It’s human to lie. Most of the time we can’t even be honest with ourselves,” so I’m afraid I can’t even believe the actor (character) who usually played the moral compass in Kurosawa’s films.
I did bump my score up from a 6.5 to a 7.5 because this is a culturally important film and it was well made, but honestly, and still unpopularly, I didn’t like it any better the second time around. From my own biased witness on this film, if Kurosawa had been making a culturally relevant film that also purposefully highlighted the ruthless way rape victims were treated and the stunning disregard for women instead of reinforcing dangerous beliefs, I’d have rated this much, much higher.
11 June 2024
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This was almost non-stop Kaiju battles as monsters from the previous 50 years showed up to do battle with Godzilla, including the abomination from the US Godzilla (1998). A who’s who of monsters from the Godzillaverse---Hedorah, Rodan, Kamacuras, King Ghidorah, Manda, the aforementioned Zilla and many others. Mothra even showed up to bat clean-up with Gigan.
There was a lot to love in this movie. The humans were the most interesting of any of the Godzilla movies I’ve watched. It had aliens and mutant humans and futuristic weapons. Kitamura Kazuki as a bad alien with even badder guyliner was over the top. He looked like he was having as much fun making the movie as I had watching it. Don’t expect Oscar worthy performances, it’s not that kind of movie.
How could I not love a Godzilla movie that included my second favorite niche genre-kung fu in it?
Yes, the story could be a bit of a mess, but was easy to follow. The director unashamedly included a lot of the science fiction fads from previous years, the Matrix, Star Wars, Independence Day, Alien, and Jules Verne, among others. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t. No doubt there were moments of pure cheese. They also must have spent most of their money on the monsters, sets, and CGI because the music sounded like some guy hitting random notes on a synthesizer. The non-stop action from beginning to end could be draining and there were times when Godzilla was absent during a lot of the action with other monsters and the aliens. However, when Godzilla did appear, he showed why he was a force to be reckoned with.
Godzilla: Final Wars features guys in rubber suits and miniaturized cities and vehicles, just as the Godzilla Genie intended them to be from this era. On Godzilla’s 50th anniversary and retirement, it was appropriate. Final Wars was a monster mash that was fun and entertaining from beginning to end.
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Homage to Jimmy Wang Yu's One-Armed Swordsman
Wu Xia aka Dragon was a nice homage to The One-Armed Swordsman, even casting Jimmy Wang Yu as the Big Bad. My review is based on the shorter international version which was thankfully subbed and not dubbed but was still almost 20 minutes shorter than the original version.Liu Ji Xi makes a living making paper and lives with his wife, stepson, and young son. Their lives are quiet and idyllic until one day two notorious criminals who have escaped custody break into a shop and brutalize the older couple who own it. Ji Xi clumsily stumbles in and intervenes. Afterward when the village is celebrating Ji Xi’s heroic acts, Detective Xu Bai Ju arrives. He believes that there may have been more than luck involved when the simple papermaker defeated too skilled killers. His suspicions are confirmed when the 72 Demons Gang attacks the town in search of Ji Xi.
Donnie Yen played the papermaker with a mysterious past giving the kind of performance you’d expect from him. He also choreographed the fights which meant they were entertaining to watch. Tang Wei played his wife, Ah Yu. Sadly, she didn’t have much to do in this film. Ji Xi’s bespectacled antagonist was the investigator played by Kaneshiro Takeshi who had his own murky past. I suspect some of the edits came at the cost of Kaneshiro’s character as there was more to him hinted at than what I saw. I would like to think Tang Wei’s time was also cut because in the 97-minute version she was criminally underused. Jimmy Wang Yu played the nefarious Master of the 72 Demons gang who was a formidable martial artist. I was never a fan of Jimmy’s old kung fu flicks, even blasphemously the original One-Armed Swordsman. To my relief, he gave a more nuanced, if menacing, performance here. Kara Hui (My Young Auntie!!) bounded in as one of the Demons and at 51 years of age held her own with Donnie in their choreographed fights.
Dragon had superb fights, two male leads with painful pasts trying to make the best of their lives, and a thriller element when the 72 Demons came to town with swords drawn. The film called into question whether there was room for empathy in enforcing the law. Dragon might not have broken any new ground, but it was stylishly filmed and well-acted. Not a bad way to spend an hour and a half.
7 November 2024
Trigger warnings: Body parts went flying in three different scenes as well as a tooth
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Kung Fu Jellyfish!
Jellyfish Eyes is a children’s movie by director Murakami Takashi that showed children, adults, and “scientists” attempting to process the trauma of the 2011 earthquake and tsunami. Everyone searched for answers on how to be safe in an unsafe and unpredictable world. Or if you just look on the surface it was about children with magical creatures that were often used like Pokémon cockfights.Masashi lost his dad during the tsunami. He and his mom have finally left the evacuation camp and moved to a new place. Moments after moving in he discovers a creature he calls Kurage-bo (Jellyfish boy) who devours their stock of Chee-kama. His uncle Naoto works at the university’s lab with several creepy scientists wearing black capes. They are seeking a way to collect the life force that creates disasters and the small creatures they call F.R.I.E.N.D.s were a byproduct. Masashi learns at school that everyone has a F.R.I.E.N.D. though the other students have controls they can use to make their creatures invisible. They also have contests where their creatures fight each other. When Tatsuya sics his critter on Masashi, Kurage-bo defeats the chief bully’s frog with martial arts. Go Kung Fu Jellyfish! Masashi makes friends with Saki and her giant dog F.R.I.E.N.D., Luxor. Saki’s mom belongs to a cult that attempts to control the uncontrollable through picketing and prayer. It’s not long before the creepy caped scientists’ goal is revealed to be fiendish in the old school burn things to the ground and start over format.
The movie primarily focused on the children and their relationships with each other and their F.R.I.E.N.D.s. Though the actions of adults and the government were called into question, the children’s violent tendencies showed that cruelty starts young. Masashi and Saki wanted to avoid the Pokémon, I mean F.R.I.E.N.D. fights. Their selfless actions came to change the hearts of the bullies. The two young actors gave good performances as Masashi and Saki. Saitoh Takumi as Uncle Naoto played several handsome versions of himself.
Jellyfish's CGI was adequate, but not stellar. The creatures were all different and creative. Kung Fu Jellyfish made a variety of transformations when needed to help save the world. During many of the fights, I was disturbed at creatures with no agency of their own forced to fight each other. Give the kids brass knuckles and bats and let them duke it out instead of setting basically enslaved creatures against each other. On the positive side, Masashi and Saki were against the fights. The film did offer a little something for my kaiju loving heart which boosted its rating for me.
There were not one, but two delusional cults that wanted to cleanse the land. Adults turned to whoever promised them some sort of control over disasters and evil. Kids today are more science savvy so the convoluted science babble the black cloaked nihilists banged on about might leave them shaking their heads. While the children learned about cooperation and bravery, the adults just wandered around in a fog leaving the world saving to the kids.
Jellyfish Eyes was not a great film and could have cut its run time to eliminate a couple of draggy places. For younger children the film had enough random action and small creatures to possibly keep their attention. I thought the film had several cute moments for children and also tried to address the community trauma parts of Japan suffered in the aftermath of the tsunami and Fukushima disaster. Masashi and Saki had an endearing friendship as they both tried to come to terms with the loss and change they’d experienced all while playing with their not so invisible F.R.I.E.N.D.s. They even found time to save the world.
(Rated as a children's film)
27 October 2024
Trigger warnings: What looked like a suicide. Bullying.
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Six boys are all that stand between Earth and annihilation!
Not long ago I read that Invasion of the Neptune Men was one of the worst films ever made. Man, whoever wrote that has not seen very many films. Actually, there is a dubbed, shortened version that was shown on Mystery Science Theater which seemed to be the one most reviewers had watched. Now the subbed version is no award winner, but for a children’s movie it was watchable. People hoping to see Sonny “Street Fighter” Chiba will also be disappointed. This was early in his career when he was around 22. The film was bonkers funny with aliens in bullet shaped welders’ helmets and Sonny driving a car/fighter plane/spaceship that squealed tires on grass. This film focused on 6 young school boys and may or may not have been a figment of their imagination.Six school boys who hero worship scientist Dr. Tachibana are out looking for satellites with their telescope. Given that it’s daytime, you’d think they wouldn’t have much luck. Ah, but luck favors the prepared for a spaceship lands not far from them. Completely unafraid they check the ship out and are soon surrounded by aliens! Luck smiled on them again when superhero Iron Sharp comes to their rescue and puts a karate beatdown on the interlopers. The aliens initially attempted to start WWIII by causing suspicion between countries. At first no one believes the boys but the aliens from Neptune soon make their nefarious plot to take over the world known!
Despite obviously being a film aimed at children there were some disturbing images. The aliens blew up a nuclear reactor creating a mushroom cloud that had to invoke terrible memories for some original audience goers. There were several deaths as well. But when the aliens blew up the Hitler Building I was ready to reassess my opinion of them. Maybe they were just misunderstood? Then they went on to blow up buildings everywhere and took aim at those meddling kids. The events might have been in the boys’ imagination for two different reasons. The boys were allowed into every building and secure location, usually the first to come into contact with the Neptunians. Iron Sharp knew when they needed him and showed up with his vehicle armed with laser weapons. He also happened to be the hero the boys had dreamed up. Or maybe the scientists and military just had really, really bad security and Iron Sharp was omniscient.
If you are looking for captivating entertainment, this is not it. However, it's also not the worst movie ever made. Invasion of the Neptune Men could have used more menacing aliens and more competent adults, but for 70 minutes there was plenty of spaceship action and things being blown up. Robby the Robot even made a quick cameo. I’d void the truncated, dubbed version in favor of the subbed original if you decide to watch it. (Graded on a curve)
25 October 2024
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"It's tough to discipline a grown daughter"
Not one but two magic mirrors were the unholy desire of the Nine Souls Witch in The Devil’s Mirror. Two friendly clans were turned against each other as the Bloody Souls Clan double-crossed and sliced their way through righteous fighters in the hopes of serving the new ruler of the martial world.Chief Wen and Chief Bai have discovered that the Nine Souls Witch has sent her minions to murder and thieve across the land. Numerous heroes have gone missing in recent weeks. Wen is concerned that she is after the two magic mirrors that would grant her access to Emperor Wu’s tomb where two powerful weapons are ensconced. Bai’s second in command, the Wormtongued Leng Yun assures his chief that there is nothing to worry about. Later that night the magic Wind Mirror is stolen from the Bai fortress. Leng convinces Bai it must have been the Wen clan as their badges were found on two of the dead assassins. Chief Wen’s son happens to arrive at that time to alert them that the witch’s minions are lurking nearby. When Leng tries to capture Wen Jian Feng, Chief Bai’s daughter, Xiaofeng, steps in with her sword to save the man she loves. The two young people will have to convince their clans to work together to retrieve the Wind Mirror and protect the Thunder Mirror for if the witch uses the two at the same time it could be devastating for the world.
I had to double-check to make sure this was not a Chang Cheh film as there were great Buckets O’ Blood spilled and spewing throughout this film. The sword fights were nearly constant and the red #2 finger-paint covered everyone. This was a typical 1972 film before all the special effects for fighting were developed though wire-fu was used as well as reverse filming. The Nine Souls Witch could fly and most of the time she didn’t look too awkward. The numerous stuntmen were what sold the fights as they twisted, flipped, and fell whenever the swords came near. They certainly got a workout in this action film.
Lau Dan and Shu Pei Pei were fine in their roles, but the characters came across as quite bland. Lee Ga Sai as the Jiuxuan Witch reveled in her maniacal laugh. If anything, they should have given her more meaningful actions to take instead of spending most of her time laughing or seducing men. The biggest and most welcome surprise was Wang Hsieh playing a good guy! He nearly always played an over-the-top villain in these kung fu flicks. Coincidentally, there were several fights at the SB 7 story pagoda and bridge where he once fought Cheng Pei Pei in The Lady Hermit (1971). Not only was he a good guy but was also rewarded with a significant fight of his own. Go Wang!
The Devil’s Mirror wasn’t a great name as there were two mirrors and a witch involved. One of the things I like about some of these Shaw Brothers films is that the character names are in the correct order and spelled correctly for the subtitles. I did wonder about the translation for the sword the witch wanted-the Fish Intestines Sword, but discovered that was one of the real names for it. Eww. Not only did the props guy have to buy red paint in bulk but also Buckets O’ Gold as nearly everything in the Emperor’s tomb was coated in gold paint!
The sets and costumes were all first rate for a 1972 wuxia. The Devil’s Mirror also offered magic, secret tunnels, torture, poison corpse pills, double-crosses, numerous group sword fights, and a nice surprise twist. If you enjoy old kung fu films, this is one to try. (Graded on a curve)
24 October 2024
Trigger warnings: Blood, lots of blood. Decapitation. Nudity.
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Reporters Ken and Jenny are aboard a navy sub in order to watch a new torpedo demonstration when a mysterious creature swims by the viewing window. Later the two don their scuba gear and go back to investigate. Jenny is confronted by one of the creatures and escapes. Commander Tom Brown says he doesn’t believe her, and like a good man from the 1960’s, recommends she see a psychiatrist. Ken does believe her and the two once again go underwater to see what’s going on but are captured by the strange creatures. They awaken to find themselves dressed in white pajamas and scuffed up white go-go boots. Dr. Rufus Moore introduces himself and explains his plan, showing the transformation of a man into a Creature from the Black Lagoon. Ken and Jenny seek to avoid that fate while their friend, Commander Brown fights bureaucratic red tape in order to rescue them.
I have a high tolerance for cheesy old monster films, but this one tested that tolerance. With the exception of Sonny, who looked great here I might add, the acting was abysmal. Not even in the cheesy, “Welcome to my lair, Mr. Bond,” kind of way. The costumes had issues with gaping spots and one was literally coming apart at the seams. The cyborg commands were rudimentary of which they showed only two, “work” and “fight.” But what happens if they become short-circuited and turn on their masters? They livened up the movie after a lot of yakking from the humans! Jenny’s sole purpose was to scream or cry loudly and look pretty which became quite annoying. Sonny’s street fighter powers were greatly reduced here. Instead of fileting the fishmen, he was routinely dominated. But I will say the evil scientists made good use of their label makers by neatly labeling every can of atomic waste dumped at the bottom of the ocean clearly and succinctly.
Fans of Sonny Chiba or old monster flicks may be disappointed by this film. The underwater installations, subs, and torpedoes were all well-crafted. If only as much attention had been paid to the acting and costumes. Even graded on a curve, Terror Beneath the Sea barely made a passing grade.
23 October 2024
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It's bananas!!!
What happens when you add the quirky 1970’s with one of Japan’s quirkiest directors? You get an insanely creative film like House. Obayashi Nobuhiko took old elements that go bump in the night and used surrealistic effects to create something new for the time. When Obayashi is in the driver’s seat, hold on because it is going to be one wild ride!Seven school girls travel to spend some time with Gorgeous’ aunt in her huge mansion on a hill. Gorgeous, Fantasy, Professor, Mac, Kung Fu, Sweet, and Melody descend upon the old woman living in her cobweb infested house. One by one the girls go missing as more and more bizarre incidents begin to take place.
The film started out slow as the girls discussed their plans. Gorgeous discovered her dad was getting remarried which propelled her to make the fateful decision to visit her deceased mother’s sister. When the other girls’ plans fell through, they followed Gorgeous. The train and bus rides had almost picture book backgrounds that were obviously fake. Gorgeous told the sad story of her aunt’s lover being killed during WWII with her aunt vowing she would wait for him forever. The story was told in sepia form with the girls all being able to see it. It did not take long for the nightmare to begin once they crossed the mansion’s threshold. A scary old well, creepy clocks, dusty pianos, luminous chandeliers, a skeleton, and an abundance of cat pictures which might normally make the hair on a person’s neck raise took on deadly proportions as the night went on. Obayashi used the special effects of the day and created a few of his own. The special effects were primitive by today’s standards, but this was before George Lucas took effects a giant step forward with Star Wars. Strangely, as gruesome as some of the scenes were, many came across as grotesquely funny and rarely scary.
When Gorgeous was relating her aunt’s story, she and the other girls seemed almost unfamiliar with WWII and the terrible suffering associated with it. Only 30 years out from the war, the girls lived in a peaceful society completely unaware of the price paid for it. The aunt had been unable to let go of her loss and bitterness. Little by little she began to destroy the oblivious young people chaining them to her pain and insatiable hunger. The film turned on its head two common tropes---A man will save us! An adult will save them! This ravenous haunted house hidden in the fog under a full moon had no mercy on anyone.
House is a hard film to define. It was a horror film with a devilish sense of humor. Obayashi seemed to revel in creating a macabre world of the ghostly realm and the teenagers powerless against the inexorable pull of the inevitable. Experimental, weird, and totally bananas (sorry Togo!), House felt like a bad acid trip that shouldn’t have worked but did. Mostly. Screw black cats, I’ll never look at white cats the same.
15 October 2024
Trigger warnings: Dismemberment, so many body parts. Blood
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Lots of ghosts-no vampires
Mr. Vampire 3 left the hopping vampires behind and embraced ghosts, both the friendly and unfriendly kind, in this installment of the franchise. Lam Ching Ying’s vampire slayer was joined by a fellow Taoist played by Richard Ng. Stronger than the second film, it lagged behind the first for me.Uncle Ming, a Taoist priest who utilizes two ghostly brothers to help him make money exorcising “haunted” houses finds himself in the middle of a skirmish between villagers and deadly horse thieves. Uncle Nine leads the villagers and figures out very quickly that the bandits who are impervious to weapons have had a heavy dose of black magic. Uncle Nine convinces Uncle Ming to release his ghosts, but they might just need them when the bandit’s leader, the Devil Lady, decides to seek revenge against the village.
Lam Ching Ying owned this role and despite this being his third outing as the unibrowed Taoist priest gave it his all. Richard Ng was a welcome addition as the Taoist priest who had fallen on hard times yet still had some magical chops. His relationship with the two friendly ghosts was one of the sweeter parts of the film. Pauline Wong, who played a ghost in the first film and a hopping vampire in the second, returned this time as the malevolent Devil Lady. What caused me to drop my rating for this film was the overuse of Billy Lau. As an antagonist with limited screen time in the first he accomplished his task. In the third installment his sycophantic, contemptible disciple of Uncle Nine grated on my nerves. I was rooting for the Devil Lady to tear him apart instead of his friend. Sammo Hung, Wu Ma, and Corey Yuen made guest appearances at a birthday party when they served up a “foreign moon cake” with candles.
This film had very little kung fu unlike the first, which was a shame. Lam Ching Ying in action is a sight to see although he did have a few cool moves in this film. Like the other films in this franchise, the wires were rarely edited out and I could see them in several scenes when the supernatural fights took place. There were rudimentary special effects for the ghostly battles and a deep-fried ghoul scene to top it off. Director Ricky Lau kept the action coming from start to finish.
Mr. Vampire 3 was entertaining for the most part and I enjoyed Richard Ng and his ghosts, though I could have used less of his bare behind. Lam Ching Ying and his twitchy brow were worth watching the film alone. If the writers and director had remembered to dial back the most annoying character it would have been far more enjoyable for me.
14 October 2024
***Trigger warnings: Cockroaches and bats***
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"I want to get that foreign fish fried!"
Lam Ching Ying and his unibrow returned to fight the undead in Vampire vs Vampire. This time he was aided by a Little Vampire, 2 inept disciples, and a fierce Mother Superior. He would be confronted not by hopping vampires, but a European vampire impervious to his magical talismans.Disciples Ho and Fong disturb a palm ghost and attract her attention. Master Unibrow helps them out but now the ghost will not leave them alone. The two have to find her body so that she can be properly buried. Meanwhile, Master Unibrow is helping the village leader who is having a feng shui problem with the land. Master Unibrow shows him where to dig a well for better water and fortunes. Unfortunately, bats move the marker and workers dig in the wrong spot the next day. During these misadventures a handful of nuns are attempting to rebuild their church. The local captain vows to burn the church down but the nuns are persistent. When the well workers begin digging they find more than artifacts, unbeknownst to them they uncover a European vampire staked in the heart by a cross with a giant ruby in it. The greedy captain and his girlfriend awaken the beast when they try to steal the ruby. Master Unibrow has his hands full when trying to dispatch this new foe.
Vampire vs Vampire was a similar set-up to Mr. Vampire (1985). Lam Ching Ying was once again the adult in the room and constantly helping everyone around them whether it was a bat infestation, blood sucking vampire, or distraught ghost. The casting of Chin Siu Ho promised a few acrobatic fights which he delivered on. Lam Ching Ying who also directed the movie was able to get his kung fu on as well much to my delight. Sandra Ng played the self-absorbed girlfriend who was bitten by the vampire and was able to show a completely different side of her acting. Billy Lau who seemed to be in all of these movies played the character I most wanted to be blown up-the pompous captain. Lam Jing Wang brought the adorable to his Little Vampire, a character familiar to those who watched Mr. Vampire 2 even though it was set in the future. With these movies, logic was never a consideration.
Vampire vs Vampire had plenty of slapstick comedy for those who like it, I’m not one who does. There was low budget special effects and once again I spotted wires in various shots when characters went airborne or amphibians. But the film had a few tense moments when the bats attacked the sisters, maybe because bats* freak me out. The European vampire was scarily funny yet also a good opponent for Master Unibrow. The Dracula wannabe became more gruesome looking as the fights went on. Master Unibrow had to think outside the box to bring down the fanged baddie. Fortunately for him, the sisters were willing to help as well as his incompetent disciples and his cute TNT carrying Little Vampire. If you enjoyed Mr. Vampire, this is one you might want to give a try. (Rated on a curve)
14 October 2024
Trigger warnings-bats and a snake
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He Jia Yu is always getting into fights with brothers Wu De Bao and Wu De Zhi from a rival school. Also in town is Chen Xiaowei and her mother who are fleeing from Luo Yihu and his gang who are taking down schools and fighters. When Yihu comes to town the bodies start dropping. Jia Yu and friends will have to up their skills if they want to stay alive.
The first half of this film was slapstick comedy and pranks that began to wear thin. If not for the promise of hopping vampires I would have dropped it. There was a creative fight competition between a chicken and a centipede. Which eventually led to hopping vampire action on a bet later on. Hwang Jang Lee as Luo Yihu had a black cat and could power up when his eyes glowed green. I love watching Thunderleg in action. He didn’t need wires for his high-flying kicks. Wong Yu was quick and acrobatic, a good foil for the hard kicking baddie. Yen Shi Kwan as Yihu’s mentor was always dependable and had a strong fight with Hwang. Sharon Yeung’s fight choreography made use of her limberness, but she wasn’t believable as a lethal fighter. The final fight between Wong Yu and Hwang Jang Lee was quite creative. I’ve never seen incense used in that manner.
Kid from Kwang Tung was moderately entertaining, perhaps more so if you enjoy slapstick comedy. The comedy didn’t work for me, especially when the good guys kept getting brutally killed. What did work? Hwang Jang Lee was worth the price of admission. That and a half dozen hopping vampires. As always, rated on a curve for old kung fu flicks.
11 October 2024
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Oh, what a web we weave, when first we practice to deceive or ... blow people up
The Web of Death was a Shaw Brothers fantasy and action fueled story with special effects revolving around a spider that could shoot the rainbow out of its spinning hole and create colorful explosive and poisonous webs. In 1976 the creators may have expected the audience to take this movie seriously but I laughed hysterically throughout it.The 5 Venoms Wu Du Clan is holding a meeting regarding the big martial arts tournament to be held on the Wudang Mountain. Snake Clan Chief Liu Shen wants the Wu Du Chief to allow them to use the Five Venoms Spider to defeat their enemies. The chief refuses saying that if the wrong person got hold of the weapon the world could be threatened. Liu Shen starts the gossip that the weapon which has been hidden for 100 years is about to be found believing the good guys will find it for him. Sure enough, the Wudang Clan immediately sends Fei Ying Xiang out to see what the scoop is. He runs into a woman disguised as a man who tells him she might be able to find the spider for him. Turns out she’s the Wu Du Chief’s daughter. While she has nothing nefarious in mind, not everyone may believe that.
Yueh Hua played the righteous swordsman Fei Ying Xiang while Ching Li played Hong Susu, the deadly swordswoman from the “bad” clan. I know I was supposed to be invested in their Romeo and Juliet romance but it didn’t really pull me in. This film was packed with Shaw Brother favorites. Lo Lieh was the duplicitous Liu Shen-always a delight to see. Ku Feng took on the role of a “good” clan leader while Wang Hsieh gave one of his more sympathetic performances as the “bad” clan leader.
The special effects were low budget 1970’s fare, but there were plenty of them. Sparkling lights, smoke, fire, fireworks, and colored lights. There were hidden traps, acid baths, and poison everywhere. The spider spewing out smoke and lights was a chef's kiss of cheesy effects. And this tarantula could also make elephant trumpet calls while standing on his hind legs. The sets were decked out like a Halloween spider fun house. I’m not an arachnophobe, but I also don’t like seeing them. These decorations looked like something a grade school came up with so were not scary to me at all. There were only a couple of shots of a real tarantula (surrounded in rainbow light) for anyone who needs to know for trigger warnings.
Very little time elapsed between fights or traps. Trampolines, wires, and reverse shots were all utilized in the place of serious martial arts, but the fights were still fun to watch as people fought on fire or dodging fireworks. Whoever doubled for Ching Li was quite acrobatic, flipping and twisting around her enemies.
As I was watching this movie, my first thought, after laughing about the “chase the rainbow” spider, was that I’ve seen this story before. Turns out it was a reworking of Cheng Pei Pei’s The Thundering Sword. Maybe this time the doomed love would turn out better and the good guys wouldn’t be close-minded jerks. Or maybe not.
The Web of Death is really only for fans of old kung fu movies or people who enjoy cheesy special effects. Turns out I love both and had a blast watching this fun house of horrors. As always, I grade old niche films on a curve.
10 October 2024
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I wanted to hop away from this one
Aside from also starring Lam Ching Ying and featuring hopping vampires, Mr. Vampire 2 had little to do with the original Mr. Vampire. Mr. Vampire 2 seemed to think if 2 Idiot assistants were good in the first film, 3 or more would be even better. The relentless slapstick comedy dragged this movie down for me.Grave robbers come across 3 Jiangshi in a cave and take them back to their lab. They believe the hopping vampires will fetch a good price. In the process of transporting the little boy vampire, his talisman comes loose and he escapes. A little girl finds him and makes friends with him. The mother and father vampires are set loose first by Idiot #1 and then again with Idiot #3. “Hilarity” ensues.
The humor in this film didn’t work for me. Wanting to molest a frozen female vampire wasn’t humorous to me. A snake going up Idiot #1’s pants or Idiot #2 keeping a frog in his mouth didn’t tickle my funny bone. And once again a snake was killed, this time its heart was eaten by Idiot #2 as a tonic. Idiot #3 tried to convince Lam Ching Ying to let him marry his daughter by telling him he was already banging her. Who does that? How many times could people stupidly free the vampires while hamming it up for the camera? Each “hilarious” fight took around 10 minutes. Another thing that took away from my enjoyment was the terrible dubbing for the children. The little boy vampire was cute and because he couldn’t talk, didn’t have the bad dubbing by an adult. Despite the cute little vampire and the children taking him with them on outings, this shouldn’t be mistaken for a children’s show though it felt like they were trying to lean in that direction.
The best part of this film was Lam Ching Ying and his unibrow who appeared to be the only adult in the room. Moon Lee who was featured in the first film had a couple of small scenes in this sequel. Wu Ma made a brief appearance as a neighbor. James Tien who played in many kung fu movies showed up as an inept police captain. The three trouble-makers had me rooting for the hoppers who were far less annoying. The only other bright spot was when Lam Ching Ying’s character rattled off his credentials, such as---his master Sammo had Spooky Encounters and Lam had caught a Mr. Vampire last year. Speaking of Sammo, I missed the kung fu that took place in Mr. Vampire (1985).
Mr. Vampire 2 had possibilities by being set in the then present 1986. If you enjoy Hong Kong slapstick comedy you will likely enjoy this film far more than I did. I won’t be crypt-ic, there was nothing I could sink my teeth into and enjoy.
6 October 2024
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Wasn't electrifying
Whether watched under the title Frankenstein Conquers the World or Frankenstein vs Baragon, this movie was a letdown on both counts. I enjoyed War of the Gargantuans, the loose sequel to this film and had higher hopes for the origin story. All the scenes of decimated animals had me wanting to bolt for the door.During the last days of WWII a German mad scientist’s work is taken by the Nazis and delivered to the Japanese via submarine. An equally mad Japanese scientist in Hiroshima looks at the indestructible beating heart and envisions an invincible army of soldiers who cannot be killed. As luck would have it, as they were doing their experiments, it turned out to be the disastrous day of August 6, 1945. Fifteen years later scientists come across a feral boy who is eating people’s cats and dogs and bunny rabbits. He’s eventually captured and after some research is believed to be a Frankenstein. With an oversized brow, a terrible wig, gapped teeth, and unable to communicate he continues to grow the more protein he is fed. Meanwhile, an earthquake, unbeknownst to the citizens, is actually Baragon burrowing and causing havoc.
A feral boy who continues to grow until he’s over three stories tall and a giant burrowing kaiju with a glowing horn ought to make for an electrifying movie. Alas, most of the film was as dull as dirt until the last 15 minutes or so. The scientists continually waffled back and forth whether Frankenstein should be or could be killed. Most believed he wasn’t human so it didn’t matter how they treated him when he was shackled and caged. This could have led to an interesting moral discussion but they were unable to piece together a workable body of logic.
The miniatures for the most part were skillfully done. The trees being thrown had roots to good effect. The boar on wheels and puppet horse were funny because they were so unrealistic and made the scenes less problematic. Although I did not need to see a dismembered rabbit. The overlays worked for the most part when Baragon blasted through a dance party.
These are the hardest films to review because Frankenstein Conquers the World wasn’t awful but it wasn’t very good either. It was an interesting origin story for War of the Gargantuans but didn't reanimate the genre. Baragon would be seen again in 1968’s Destroy All Monsters and the mouthful of a title Godzilla, Mothra, and King Ghidorah-Giant Monsters All Out Attack in 2001. The latter was the best out of all the movies mentioned here. There were parts of an interesting story and the final fights were good (make sure to watch the international version which has an additional kaiju), it just wasn’t stitched together well as a whole. The writers could have used a hand but sadly it crawled off.
5 October 2024
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