The Assassin breaks out of the standard martial arts mold. If you are looking for a fast paced, bloody, high flying wuxia film, this is not that film. Every shot is a breathtaking painting, lovingly lingered over to give you time to sink into it.

Crickets and birds provide most of the natural soundtrack. The strength of this movie lies in the stunning cinematography and the slow, deliberate pacing.

While the times are complex, the main story arc is deceptively simple. Duty or morality? To kill or not to kill?

Nie Yin Niang (Shu Qi-So Close) has been trained for thirteen years as an assassin and is unmatchable. After refusing to kill an official in front of his son her teacher sends Yin Niang to her home province to kill Tian Ji’an (Chang Chen-Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon), the military governor, who also happens to be the man she had once been betrothed to before fate and politics changed her plan.

Yin Niang spends much of her time observing from rafters and in dark corners. Is she watching the life that once might have been hers? Or taking the measure of the man and situation to decide whether she can and should kill him?

Dialogue is sparse which can make this movie frustratingly enigmatic for those of us who are not familiar with this ancient tale. Yet I was never bored. Shu Qi gives an understated performance that is complex and compelling in its resolute silence. Yin Niang is no one’s victim and takes history into her own hands.

Fight scenes are often short with no complicated wire work. One scene in particular is beautifully shot among the trees. Yin Niang wields her curved blade confidently and dispassionately against her female opponent before walking off in the forest.

The costumes and sets are lush and a pleasure for the eye. Panoramic scenes of mountains and fields often take center stage. The attention to detail in every frame is captivating.

Yin Niang’s teacher says her heart lacks resolve because the way of the sword is pitiless. This assassin has plenty of resolve, she simply chooses what she wishes to fight for.

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The two biggest complaints I’ve read about this drama are regarding the age difference and lack of external conflict. Normally, I’d be right up in the stands blowing raspberries with those people, but not this time. I watched the one episode that had been English subbed on YouTube and it hit all the pleasure centers in my brain. Being new to the Kdrama world I couldn’t find it on-line and ended up buying it on Amazon. I don’t regret one penny spent on it.

Story
I didn’t have a problem with the age difference. The ML is 939 years old. Anyone under 800 wouldn’t have anything in common with him. But seriously, the ML and FL have been touched and in their eyes cursed by the supernatural, so these are not two ordinary people. Most importantly, she is the Goblin’s bride, not wife. She has one job and I won’t spoil it here but it is not to warm his bed. He never comes across as some old geezer trying to seduce her. Even by Kdrama standards, this one is chaste.

The Goblin knows what her job is, anticipates and accepts it. But the moment she brings hope and light into his life the conflict within him and the story explodes. As he watches her and feels his heart begin to beat again the poetry that springs forth from him was so beautiful it gave my brain a little orgasm.

The conflicts in this story are mostly internal but the stakes are high.

I usually skim the secondary characters’ stories because too often they seem like filler and distract from the main storyline. Not this time. The Reaper’s and Sunny’s stories were seamlessly interwoven and integral to the main story.

The bromance between the Goblin and Reaper is legendary so I won’t go into it.

I watched every minute of this drama, savoring each one. Forgiveness plays a big role in this story. Our characters find it is not easily earned or given, whether it be for the self, others, or The Powers That Be.

Acting
This was my first time for all these actors and I wouldn’t make a single casting change.

Gong Yoo did an amazing job as ruthless warrior, tragic guardian angel and Oscar to the Reaper’s Felix.

Kim Go Eun did a good job as the girl both afflicted and blessed by her special case.

The secondary characters were all spot on and Lee Dong Wook has to be one of the most beautiful criers in the business.

OST
I don’t normally pay attention to the music unless I love it or despise it. The music in Goblin enhanced the story without distracting from it, a difficult task. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

The cinematography was stunning. I had to shush my photographer husband who kept commenting on it. Which brings me to the rewatch value.

Rewatch Value
My husband who has only watched a few scattered episodes of Asian dramas sat down and watched this with me on my second go around. We laughed and cried together (damn allergies!). I will watch it again. And again.

This story of love, family, friendship, redemption, and forgiveness is definitely worth a try.

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"Refugees are people, too. They live and breathe."

Black Knight didn't add anything new to the dystopian world genre, but it was an engaging and entertaining drama at the perfect length. It was long enough to give the viewer time to care about the characters and also didn't bog down and overstay its welcome. For a world short on oxygen, it knew just how many breaths to take.

Kim Woo Bin as delivery man 5-8, in his oversized coats was perfect as the leader of the delivery people and refugee rebels. Having survived a massacre, he knew exactly what the Cheonmyeong corporation was capable of. The Chairman's son, Ryu Seok, wanted to eradicate the refugees and keep the status quo with the haves having all the oxygen and resources in their underground relative utopia while the refugees gasped for air and dealt with a lack of food, medicine, education, and jobs on the dusty surface.

Kang Yoo Seok as Sa Wol was the cocky young upstart mutant refugee who entered the fight ring in order to become a delivery man. Again, nothing new in the winner takes all fight to the near death or death to gain a dystopian prize, but the scrappy and sympathetic Sa Wol made it easy to care about him. Esom as Seol Ah, was the dutiful soldier who was not afraid to bend the rules by hiding Sa Wol in her house and raising him for a decade. As the story went on, she and 5-8 would have a different reason for going to the mountaintop, each taking their own road in order to bring Ryu down and save the refugees who were marked for death.

Kim Woo Bin did a great job as the delivery man who delivered more than food and oxygen, he delivered hope and justice. Song Seung Heon was elegantly despicable, proving why nepotism is a bad thing. The story had some lapses in logic and could have delved more into certain plot points, but the charismatic performances overrode the plot holes a delivery truck could have driven through.

Black Knight highlighted how the 1% in charge of resources was unwilling to share and capable of almost any atrocity against refugees that they didn't see as holding any value. It was in their best interest to keep the people divided into classes. The company and their lifestyles trumped any good they could have done for the surviving masses. For Ryu, the people were never grateful enough for the oxygen Cheonmyeong allowed them to breathe---those whom they decided were worthy to breathe.

"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph in the world is that good men do nothing." (Source debated) The politicians, military, refugees, and delivery people would have to decide what they were willing to do to build a world for all survivors. Black Knight could be dark at times and was unafraid of sacrificing characters in the deadly fights, but it also shone a light on the goodness of people as they fought to create a better world for everyone, not just for some. This might not have been a perfect drama, but it was perfect way to spend a few hours on a rainy day.

5/12/23

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You do not want to catch this rainbow

"Why must humans be so greedy?" Gamera vs Barugon brings that harsh lesson into focus showing how human greed causes as many problems as giant Kaiju.

At the end of the original Gamera, the giant turtle was enclosed in a capsule and launched into space. This movie picks up with a meteor cracking open the ship and Gamera spinning his way home to Earth where he caused some damage feasting on hydroelectric power from a dam.

After Gamera takes off to parts unknown three men travel to New Guinea to retrieve a giant opal left hidden in a cave from WWII. The natives try to warn them off but they won't hear of it. Death and betrayal follow which is why we can't have nice things. The opal, as any Kaiju fan will have figured out by now, is an egg, not a stone. Next thing you know Barugon is on the loose with his giant tongue (whole new meaning to the term tongue lashing!), glowing tines on his back and a giant rainbow ray of death you do not want to catch. Gamera shows up and takes quite a beating from the new kid in town.

The humans, including a repentant thief and the native girl who came with him to Japan seek to stop Barugon. One of the other thieves cannot except the loss of the jewel and goes on a murder spree. As usual, most of their efforts are thwarted because this is Gamera's movie, not theirs, and it's up to him to have the marquee fight.

Though the movie starts slow, the humans are among the most interesting of any Kaiju movie. Hongo Kojiro made a believable humbled man trying to undo his mistake, knowing it would be impossible to repay the lives lost. Fujiyama Koji played the greedy and villainous thief well. Let's just say his character got the tongue lashing he deserved by human and Kaiju alike.

I didn't care for the original Gamera but his second outing was much more enjoyable and well done. It helped that there wasn't an annoying child talking about turtles non-stop. This Gamera was dark and excluding the usual Kaiju pseudo science, fairly coherently and cohesively written. It was beautifully shot and the fights were well done considering they were guys in cumbersome rubber suits. For a 1966 movie about a big turtle that can fly you couldn't have asked for much more.


(As usual these old niche movies are graded on a curve)

10/20/22

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First come, first served or first killed, whichever comes first

A shy assassin assigned to guard a yakuza's teenage daughter finds himself in the middle of a revenge fueled war that takes place in a nearly empty school. Undercover as A Janitor, he ends up having to clean up more than empty juice boxes.

Fukima Akira saw his father murdered when he was just a boy. His father's blood brother, Majima Yoshiki, took him in as a son and trained him to be an assassin. Majima's biological son, Honda, grew up to develop his own gang to oppose his father. Eventually, Akira finds out that Yoshiki had his father murdered so that he could take over the gang and honor dictated Akira now had to murder his father figure. Other leaders were involved, including Honda, because everyone wanted to take over Yoshiki's turf. Yui, the daughter, was needed to biometrically open the vaults thus creating the deadly situation at the school with only Akira between her and 9 assassins.

The film bordered on the absurd at times with a baby faced serial killer, two female high school assassins, a geriatric assassin, two bozo bro assassins and one that resembled a terminator. Some of the acting could be over the top. Honda, looked like an IT specialist, but what he specialized in was killing, especially his own men. I kept expecting to hear him say, "have you tried turning it off and turning it on?" This was a kill or be killed free for all, where the only ones who would be paid were the ones who completed the job first. First come, first serve. What the assassins learned the hard way was that the gentle spoken janitor had no intention of letting anyone collect a pay day.

A Janitor (the most commonly used title name) looked like it was cheaply made. The school shots were that blown out blue/gray and white that many Jdramas seem fond of. Scenes with Yui and her father having dinner, steak of course, murderous villains tend to like their rare beef, were tinted red.

Some of the scenes were gratuitous in nature, and fair warning, there were a few random high school kids murdered. At times the fighting seemed brutal and real at others times it could seem ludicrous. Suppressing fire is one thing, wasting bullets shooting at something you can't see when you have limited ammo is something else, something stupid. Speaking of stupid, if you have an amazing hiding place don't crawl out in front of the villains in plain sight.

The acting was all over the place. Fukushi Seiji did a fine job as the conflicted and loyal Akira. Imou Haruka asYui had the tough task of playing the high school girl getting dragged all over the place with little agency of her own. Most of the rest of the cast set their acting on crazy overkill.

Despite the limited acting and sets, the movie was entertaining at times. Like a Godzilla movie, the monster didn't show up until 40 minutes into the story, at which point the action began and it became more interesting. Ultimately, a cute assassin wasn't enough for me with the huge gaps in logic though. The film is part of the Baby Assassins world which I know nothing about. So if that franchise is something you enjoyed or you like yakuza assassins pummeling and shooting each other, this might be something to try. It is thankfully as short as much of the logic in the movie, clocking in under 90 minutes.



9/26/22

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This was my first Asian drama and my first true love. If I had chosen one of the other Chinese fantasy dramas to watch on Netflix I would have never watched another one. But TMOPB was my choice and I fell hard.

I fell in love with the beautiful people, sets, costumes, music, and story. Like a first love I was reckless and slept very little, unable to tear myself away.

It had everything I wanted in a first love-passion, true love, unrequited love, revenge, danger, obstacles to overcome, character growth, monsters, and magic. My first love had some flaws but through the eyes of love I overlooked them.

The actors brought the characters to life and pulled me into another world.

The music enhanced the story without distracting from it, a romantic mix-tape for an epic love story.

The next few dramas I watched were unworthy of my love and left my heart cold, but because TMOPB had taught me how to love I kept my heart open and kept searching. I have only truly loved one other time but I have loved and liked many others.

I have revisited this love many times, unable to completely let go. All other loves are measured against this one. I am so thankful for the worlds this drama opened up for me.

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"Never take the mask off"

Rigor Mortis was an homage to the Mr. Vampire franchise even casting Chin Siu Ho and Anthony Chan as the leads. Director Juno Mak made a stylishly bleak film lacking the humor of other hopping vampire films. A stellar veteran cast helped cover over gaps in the story.

Chin Siu Ho is an actor down on his luck and separated from his wife and son. He moves into a dilapidated apartment building with aging tenants. Death is ever near and, in many cases, still lingering. Two Taoist priests, one retired and the other who practices black magic work together and against each other as vengeful ghosts and a hopping vampire terrorize the building. Chin owes Taoist Kau for saving his life and bands together with him to cleanse the evil and put an end to it.

I wasn’t aware this film had any connection to the Mr. Vampire films when it started and officially it didn’t. Chin Siu Ho (MV, VvV, MV1992) walking across the screen was my first clue and Anthony Chan (Four-eyed Taoist MV, MV4) playing a reluctant bespectacled Taoist was another. Chin had cast pics from Mr. Vampire with the late Lam Ching Ying (THE Uni-browed Taoist MV1,2,3, 1992, VvV) and Ricky Hui (MV1) on display. Billy Lau (MV1,2,3,1992,VvV) made a guest appearance as a cook, Chung Fat (MV2 & 4) as the black magic practitioner and finally, Richard Ng (MV3) played a beloved husband. Kara Hui gave a great performance as a widow whose sanity hung by a thread after her husband was involved with a double murder/suicide in their apartment. Pau Hei Ching was brilliant as the dedicated wife who would do anything to bring her deceased husband back. Anything.

The fights were brutal and CGI/wire assisted. Chin Siu Ho practiced martial arts in real life and even at 50 made some impressive moves. The jiangshi went from graceful slow-mo hopping with a wind machine to rapidly crawling up walls. The two malevolent ghosts were creepy as they floated about and possessed the living and the dead. Juno Mak created this world primarily in tombstone grays and muted tones , saving the bigger pops of color for rooms lit up in red or puddles of blood. The film was quite stylishly filmed for a low budget horror flick.

For true horror connoisseurs this movie would be tame. For fraidy cats like me, I had to turn my head a couple of times although I did not miss the slapstick humor often associated with hopping vampire films. The cast gave excellent performances. The gloomy apartment setting offered all the hope of a cemetery where the people didn't realize they were dead. The biggest drawback for me was Chin Siu Ho’s character not having a proper backstory and the epilogue. The epilogue may have actually given meaning to the title, but I found it disappointing. Whether it was the director’s way of trying to be clever or the censors stepped in, it came across as mundane after the thrilling battles. Still, it was a pleasure to have much of the gang back together (RIP LCY!) which caused me to give this film a ratings’ bump.

"In this business, no one gets a happy ending."

30 October 2024
Trigger warnings: Child death, insects, gore, suicides, sexual assault

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Didn't make me wax poetically about it

Princess from the Moon told an updated version of the thousand-year-old story, “The Tale of the Bamboo Cutter.” A supernatural “princess”, a sea monster, and UFO should have made for an exciting tale, but connecting to the characters was more difficult than I thought it would be.

A mother and father are grieving the loss of their five-year-old daughter when a bright light and explosion near their daughter’s grave draws their attention. The husband runs into the forest, not only concerned about Kaya’s grave but also to put out any fires in the bamboo forest, the source of his income. He finds a small pod that breaks open and reveals a baby, a baby that ages into a five-year-old in seconds. His wife immediately accepts the blue-eyed version of Kaya as a gift from heaven. When Kaya rapidly turns into a young woman, they decide to move away. Their traveling money is aided by the pod which turned out to be pure gold. Soon Kaya’s beauty is the talk of the town and suitors are knocking at the door. What will happen when her people decide it’s time for her to return home?

This story is right up my alley. I love fairytales, fantasy, and kaiju. Not even a guest appearance by Manda could pull me into this one. It didn’t help that the movie was either badly degraded or shot in a gauzy style which distanced me from the story. Instead of giving it an ethereal appearance it was like struggling to see through fog. Kaya came across as detached which didn’t endear me to her. Her love interest was lumped in with two other suitors and an interested emperor. The impossible tasks Kaya assigned them to test their sincerity revealed a lack of integrity in most of the noblemen. “Men trade honesty for an easy life.”

One of my favorite actors, Mifune Toshiro, played the reluctant and then committed father. “Her joy and sorrow are mine now.” Wakao Ayako made the mother’s grief at the loss of a child palpable as well as her joy at heaven providing her another daughter to love. Though beautiful, Sawaguchi Yasuko’s portrayal of Kaya/Princess Kaguya came across as stiff. Despite so much of the story revolving around her, I never emotionally connected with her character. The blind Akeno played by Odaka Megumi gave a more nuanced performance.

Even through the fogged-up lens, the scenery was striking, especially the bamboo forest. The special effects, however, were rudimentary for the most part. The sea dragon did remind me of Manda and with the movie coming from Toho it could have been. The final scenes looked straight out of 1977’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind though I give them props for doing a satisfying job on the space craft. They got their money’s worth as the ship was shown from nearly every angle quite lovingly. Throughout the film the soundtrack was delicate and unobtrusive. Then inexplicably Peter Cetera sang the closing song over the credits. He was everywhere in 1987, also singing the theme song for Karate Kid 2 (1986). Maybe he was in the neighborhood.

Princess from the Moon was a delightful fairytale that missed opportunities to engage this viewer on a deeper level. The second half was stronger than the tepid first half. I did enjoy the concept of a moon maiden growing up with Earthling parents and falling in love with an Earthman. I wouldn’t want to dissuade anyone from watching Princess from the Moon, it’s worth giving a try. For me it faltered on the emotional front for instead of being moved by the tidal tug between celestial homes for Kaya, I found myself reminiscing about Sokka and Zuko’s conversation from The Last Airbender, “My girlfriend turned into the moon.” “That’s rough, buddy.”

28 October 2024

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Battastically ridiculous!

The Golden Bat was a film with aliens, a rogue planet, laser weapons, a spaceship shaped like a shark, and a superhero golden mummy with a serious overbite. The science was laughable. The costumes were dreadful. And this was 70 minutes of silly fun.

A secret U.N. space institute has discovered that the planet Icarus is on a collision course with Earth. The rogue planet is being assisted by Nazo “Master of the Universe” who wants to be rid of Earthlings. At the institute, Dr. Pearl is assisted by the studly Dr. Yamatone and Yamatone’s boy wonder, Akira. Pearl has built a laser cannon capable of destroying Icarus but it lacks a rare mineral. Fortunately for Team Earth, one of their spaceships has crashed on an uncharted island. When the team goes to investigate, they come across a sarcophagus with a mummy inside dressed in gold lame. Holy coincidences Batman, the mummy is holding the mineral they need to save the planet! Turns out this risen island is part of Atlantis. The tomb directions read, “Ten millennia from now mankind will face a crisis. Open this sarcophagus and I, the Golden Bat, will awaken from my long sleep to fight by your side. Pour a drop of water on me.” Pearl’s granddaughter obliges and the Golden Bat comes to life. All Emily has to do is call his name and he will appear. Team Earth will need all the help they can get with a planet barreling down on them and Nazo’s minions attacking them from all sides.

If you have ever watched an old live action Saturday morning show for kids, this would be similar---albeit with more dead bodies. Apparently, the Golden Bat is one of the earliest, if not the earliest superhero dating back to 1930. This GB was invulnerable, carried a laser shooting baton, could fly and had a maniacal laugh. The evil Nazo’s costume looked like a big mouse with four eyes and a mechanical claw for one hand. He had three high level minions-Jackal, Keloid, and Piranha. Nazo’s spaceship was a giant drill shaped monstrosity while his cruising around ship was built like a shark. Sonny Chiba played a bearded scientist who spent most of his time shooting his laser handgun at aliens and wondering if his career was what was being destroyed.

The Golden Bat was not a high-quality production and the science was scarily bad. But it was so ridiculous that it was funny. In order to enjoy this movie, you will need an extremely high cheese threshold. Like Icarus high. Or be high. Graded on a curve.

24 October 2024

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"Behold I will make a havoc in the Heavenly Palace!"

Rescue the Earth aka Earth Rescue Day took the old trope of aliens taking over the Earth and combined it with a little Monkey King magic. The mischievous god never made an appearance but devotee Mo Fei managed to embody some of the simian’s better qualities.

The Earth has been devastated and overtaken by an alien called Giant Kun who orbits the sky. Smaller spider-like creatures called Kunzis scavenge the land and anyone who dares to come above ground. Humanity has made their homes safely below ground in modern cities. Mo Fei is a Flyman in his 20’s who goes to the surface to find objects of worth to sell below. He owes his friend, Sha Sha, money. She tags along when he tries to sell items to Boss Zhu who is not happy to see him. Mo Fei and Sha Sha end up on the run from Boss Zhu above ground in their flying vehicles when both are attacked by the Kunzis. Mo Fei rescues Boss Zhu and the civilians find themselves in turn rescued from a herd of Kunzis by the Black Falcon Squad. The squad and Flymen end up on a dangerous mission through Kunzi infested land in order to arm a weapon that might destroy Giant Kun before she reproduces and ends humanity for all time.

Rescue the Earth had some really good creatures. Although Giant Kun looked suspiciously like the Harbulary battery eating Abilisk from Guardians of the Galaxy 2. If spiders make you squeamish the hordes of arachnid inspired Kunzis with long spiky tongues may not be for you. While the creatures were properly creepy, the flying car chases came across as very low quality CGI.

Liu Jian Yu as the Wukong inspired Mo Fei had an impish smile and Monkey King hairdo. There was a nice bit to tie it all together at the end. Wang Zi Jia as his gal pal Sha Sha was the mechanic who had to run around on the snow-covered ground in her Daisy Dukes cut-off jean shorts. The writers worked hard to make the four brave soldiers have their own personalities. Capt. Li had a secret related to Mo Fei that tied him to the young man. Different characters had to make the ultimate sacrifice for the greater good and while it didn’t bring tears, they weren’t complete strangers.

Rescue the Earth had some clunky dialogue and even clunkier science but it did have an interesting premise and characters. The film was thankfully short and kept the action going non-stop. The final solution didn’t make any sense but it was done in Wukong style which made it worthwhile for me. If you can handle cheesy dialogue and don’t mind absurd science it’s a diverting 90 minutes of action and creepy crawlers.

21 October 2024
Triggers-Spiderish creatures

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The real seafood wars!

A space probe to Jupiter returned home with glittering aliens who created Seafood Kaiju in order to take over the world in Space Amoeba aka Yog, Monster from Space. An intrepid reporter, a biologist, and a resort developer converge on a pristine island destined to become a luxury resort site. That is, if the native islanders and newly created monsters agree to sign the contracts.

Reporter Kudo Taro sees the lost Jupiter probe, Helios 7, parachuting to Earth while he is on an airplane. No one believes him and he is laughed out of the editor’s office. Hoshino Ayako who works for a resort developer asks him to take pictures of a remote island for their project. At first, he’s not interested but then his friend, Dr. Mida Kyoichi tells him he believes monsters might be inhabiting the island. Kudo can smell a buck to be made and agrees. A shady character named Obata tags along on the ship and joins the group even after the monster has already killed a worker on the island. The islanders believe the newcomers are angering Gezora, a giant octopus like creature, but Gezora seems generally pissed off about any two-legged creatures on the island. It’s not long before everyone understands that they are on their own with no way off the island and no way to contact the outside world, with a giant cephalopod out for blood.

This was Honda Ishiro’s first kaiju movie without special effects master Tsuburaya Eiji who died in 1970. Aside from a few random wires through the years, I noticed more in this film than the others combined. Of course, controlling eight legs on land is tough. There were two giant crabs-Ganimes, and a big turtle not named Gamera as well. The overall looks of the kaiju were good for the time period. If you have a bat phobia there were numerous alive and unalive bats in the last third of the film. This film got something right that many of these creature features did not. The monsters showed up early and often instead of being special guest stars in their own movies.

The actors were better than usual, with the exception of the female lead who was never called by name. I kept thinking Kudo would say, “Ayako, stop falling down!” or “Ayako, stop screaming and alerting the monster to our location!” There was never even a proper introduction. The lone island woman, Saki, had her name called out numerous times. Even characters with bit parts had their names vocalized, all but poor Ayako. At least they gave her a name in the cast list. Have I belabored that point? Probably. Lol

Space Amoeba took a different angle on the kaiju genre by having microscopic glittering space aliens take over sea creatures and even humans in their world domination goal. The humans had to survive long enough to work together to discover the aliens’ weakness. They also had a little assist from Mother Nature and a selfless soul. If you enjoy old kaiju films, this is one to try.

19 October 2024

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That's not a sword. Now that's a sword!

Lam Ching Ying wasn’t available for this sequel so Mr. Vampire 4 had to find two priests to take his place! Wu Ma joined the hopping fun alongside Anthony Chan’s Four-eyed Taoist. There were jiangshi and one Big Bad vampire for the boys to deal with.

Buddhist priest Yi Yu returns home with Ching Ching, a female disciple. Chia Le is a disciple of the Four-eyed Taoist but respects Yi Yu. Chia Le and Ching Ching get off on the wrong foot when Chia Le mistakes her for a boy. Their misunderstanding can’t hold a candle to the childish displays by their elders who torment each other and even have a food fight. The two older men have to set aside their petty rivalry and work together when a vampire is being transported to the capital and breaks out of his traveling coffin during a lightning storm.

Lam Ching Ying’s wise unibrowed character would have had no place in this film. It’s a wonder the vampire was ever subdued with these two frenemies on the job. Wu Ma and Anthony Chan made the most of their roles as they fought each other and then the undead. Ching Ching was a more adept female character than in previous sequels making her a welcome addition. Chin Kar Lok took over his older brother’s (Chin Siu Ho) role as the bumbling Taoist disciple. His kung fu and stunt abilities were fun to watch as he was quite acrobatic. Pauline Wong returned in a guest role as a fox demon who tried to seduce the Four-eyed Taoist. Cheung Wing Cheung played a hopping vampire in Mr. Vampire 2 and played the Big Bad vampire here.

Except for a conga line of hopping vampires who also played limbo, the first 47 minutes was devoted to slapstick comedy with the two competing priests. As someone who has a low tolerance for it, those minutes were slower than a jiangshi hopping through knee deep mud. Once the Big Bad took the stage, the action picked up as well as my interest. There was still plenty of comedy, this was not a scary movie. At one point Four Eyes kept coming out with bigger and bigger swords compared to Yi Yu’s. One thing that did not age well was Yuen Wah’s gay eunuch as the role was played strictly for laughs.

Mr. Vampire 4 was comparable in quality to most of the other sequels in this franchise. The fights were well-choreographed and there were plenty of vampires both of the hopping and non-hopping varieties. Most of all, Wu Ma is always welcome on my screen even if I have to watch him in a food fight. (Graded on a ratings curve)

18 October 2024
Trigger warning: Snakes and one decapitation

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Monstrous and not in the good way

Monsters was a cheap, confusing film which wouldn’t have been a bad thing if it had been funny or scary. Five people ended up in a monster prison that was sealed in four dimensions but wasn’t impregnable. The ancient creators were super geniuses but forgot about solar eclipses which caused the singularity solar space time quantum magnetic black hole multiverse prison to glitch.

Long before humans crawled down from the trees, giants ruled the Earth. Everything was hunky dory until an underground explosion spewed up lethal monsters that ate everything in their path. The giants decided to leave Earth but eleven warriors stayed behind and caged the monsters. A gazillion years later Gao Fei and her sidekick Su Jun Bao race to the site where her sister, Gao Wei, disappeared a year earlier during a solar eclipse. As luck would have it another eclipse is about to begin. Fei is ready to jump through the newly formed ripples when Zhang Mu Sheng drops in wielding a knife and attacks Fei. Why you ask? Who knows. Jun Bao is accidentally knocked into the portal. When Mu Sheng refuses to relent Fei bounces both of them through the portal before it closes. An observer, Ayo Sayi, finds her way through the portal as well. Hiding in the deep forest is a monster who has a Black Canary cry that disables its prey before it attacks. As the group wanders through the woods, they keep happening upon other people who look just like them, both living and dead. Fei just wants to survive, find her sister, and get everyone safely home.

The creators failed at world building on multiple levels which dragged this movie down. It could have been a translation problem but the characters’ efforts to explain what was going on were just confusing word salads of scientific terms. It seemed liked the creators used the whole black hole singularity multiverse quantum physics explanation so that they could kill off character without having to sacrifice the main characters. How did beings intelligent enough to build a fourth-dimension prison powered by the sun not take into account solar eclipses? Total solar eclipses happen around every 18 months. And how in the heck would a solar eclipse be any more problematic than nighttime? A solar eclipse doesn’t block the sun for the whole planet. The nocturnal beasts didn’t seem to have any problem coming out in the daytime either.

Along with world building, the characters were a mess. Gao Fei knew her sister disappeared through a mysterious portal. She planned to go through it as well when it appeared again. She brought no food, water, weapon, or backpack. To show she was ready for anything she wore a white sports bra instead of a shirt. The Observer in an elaborate costume and wig was not properly attired for traipsing through the forest and fighting off a monster either, although she at least carried a sword. Mu Sheng went from trying to kill Fei to becoming best buddies with her in whiplash fashion. And poor Jun Bao was given a list of scientific terms to rattle off in no particular order. Most of the characters were knocked unconscious at least once. If they survived their ordeal they all needed to schedule CTscans upon return to their world. Quite honestly, my favorite character and the only one I cared about surviving was Master the dog.

Monsters was primarily a singular monster for most of the movie with the kind of CGI you’d expect from this caliber of film. If you enjoy being confused watching confused characters wandering through a singularity solar space time quantum magnetic black hole multiverse monster prison disguised as a wooded forest, this might be something to check out. I told myself if the writers resisted using the most cliched ending for these cheap monster movies I’d give it a .5 bump. It did not receive a .5 ratings bump.

17 October 2024

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"Art should have no borders"

Hanagatami was a labor of love for Director Obayashi Nobuhiko. He’d conceived the film 40 years before filming it. Right before production he received the news he had stage 4 cancer and he went ahead and began it. This film was surrealistically beautiful, cryptic, and a scathing criticism of the 20th century Japanese war machine.

It’s 1941 and seventeen-year-old Toshihiko has returned to Japan from Amsterdam where his mother lives. At his new school he befriends three boys—athletic Ukai, nihilist Kira, and class clown Aso. Toshihiko lives with his aunt and her sister-in-law, the beautiful and dying Mina. The boys are introduced to Mina’s friends, Chitose (Kira’s cousin) and Akine. The youth swim in the ocean, have parties and picnics, attend festivals, and fall in love as befits their age. They also have the sword of war hanging over their heads.

“All you boys will be taken and killed!”
This film set an exhausting pace in the first act. With his extensive use of green screens and special effects some of his choices almost made me dizzy. Toshi was ever exuberant, often to the extreme, which was hard to keep up with. The film eventually settled into a more moderate pace. There were events I wasn’t sure happened or were symbolic. The full moon loomed over the nightly proceedings, bathing everyone in its magical glow. And ghostly military scarecrows came to life and marched while children followed along singing.

“War is hell, but I can’t avoid my own personal hell”
It’s hard for me to call the youth “boys” because in fact the actors were between the ages of 27-42. The girls were closer to their screen ages, most being in their low 20’s. Regardless of their real ages, I had to mentally accept them as teens. They were supposed to be coming of age all the while knowing that they might never make it to manhood. There were homoerotic scenes such as two teens riding a horse naked in the moonlight. And sapphic implied scenes between friends and in-laws. There were plenty of male bare bottoms and women in full nude body suits.

“Seen through the wrong end of a telescope an ordinary scene becomes an ancient history. No, it’s not nostalgia. It’s heartache for all that’s lost.”

Toshi was looking back at his youth in the house his mother and aunt prepared for him. The years had flown by and memory colored in dark nights and filled gaps from old wounds. Friendships were bound by the present and impossible future. Their country had deemed their youth expendable in the name of honor and expansion. There were those who decided if they were being sent to die in a distant land, they could choose a familiar place to end their life. Obayashi drove home every chance he could that Japanese men were born to die in war, a truly useless and tragic thing. At no point was he subtle about his loathing for the 20th century government’s actions and his mourning for the wasted lives and potential. Hanagatami wasn’t an easy film to watch. It was long and maddeningly dream-like. It was also highly creative in showing how teens and their relationships are complex especially when they know they will be forced to grow up and face horrors they can’t escape.

“For Toshihiko, his youth was like a game of hide and seek. It was dark before he knew it and everybody had gone home.”

11 October 2024

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"We were already happy"

In 1999 television and the internet became legal in Bhutan ushering in a new era to the small country sandwiched between China and India. In an even greater societal shakeup in 2006, King Jigme Singye Wangchuck announced his intention to step down and have the country transition to a constitutional monarchy. The people in the village of Ura faced a steep learning curve as they struggled to balance their long-held traditions with the encroaching modernization. And what could be a bigger example of polar opposites colliding than seeing a peaceful monk carrying a gun through fields of flowers in The Monk and the Gun.

An election official comes to Ura to register voters and stage a mock election to prepare the people for the real thing. The beloved Buddhist lama hears the news and tells his young monk to bring him two guns. “Things need to be made right.” In a country where many people had never even seen a gun, Tashi had a daunting task. The obedient monk didn’t know why the guns were needed but proceeded to go house to house in search of one. Someone else was also looking for a gun. An American gun dealer and collector, Ron Coleman, along with his guide, Benji, sought to make a deal with a local villager who was in possession of a rare American Civil War rifle.

The election official had her hands full trying to register the villagers as some had no idea when their exact birthdate was. They also weren’t exactly sure what the election was all about and why their king was abdicating. Was all this change really worth it? “Democracy will be the pinnacle of Gross National Happiness.” “We were already happy.” People began fighting about candidates, especially one family where a son-in-law bucked tradition by refusing to back the elder’s choice. The gun collector was led on a merry chase for his prize unaware that the police were chasing him. The collision was priceless.

Brilliant fields of flowers, emerald green hills---the cinematography had a lot to work with and made the most of a beautiful setting. The acting was mostly natural but unexceptional. A wife torn between her husband and mother revealed the conflict between tradition and modernization. All she wanted was for her family to be happy. The tenacious election official was determined to have the villagers prepared for when the real election took place. And the young monk who thought the name of the election was a pig disease just kept putting one foot in front of the other in order to comply with his master. The American was just as clueless about what was going on because despite most of the characters being uninterested in money, both his treasure and significant sums of money kept slipping through his fingers.

The Monk and the Gun was a gentle, humorous, and insightful examination of a society transitioning and wanting the changes to be meaningful and not negatively impact their way of life. The lama stood ready to help the villagers focus on eliminating hatred and conflict as they learned to embrace a say in their own government. People were also beginning to understand that being able to choose didn’t always mean the choices were great. “I can’t believe this idiot represents the ‘freedom and equality party.’” Welcome to democracy.

16 September 2024

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