i didn't watch this in one sitting, since my limit is probably 1 and a half hours of attention. i imagine that if i did, the immersion would be greater, though i think i would have gotten slightly frustrated at the pace, though i think that could very much be intentional.

we watch the children grow, over the span of what we can assume is 1-2 years. grow, that is, with no light but the sun, water from the park, and scrap food from the convenience store. shoes become too small, clothes become tattered, and akira becomes a shell of the boy he could have been, whilst taking the role of a parent for three younger children. we become witness to neglect that may be fictional, but whose basis is very real. our minds can't help but to imagine happiness and freedom that their mother is experiencing, all the while the children are suffering for her irresponsibility. i could probably write a 10,000 word essay on my hatred for her and almost all other adults in the children's life, but i don't think that'd be particularly helpful, so i'll refrain.

there's a lot of beauty in this film, mostly thanks to the cinematography and the rawness of the acting, most likely due to the loose script (i highly recommend watching the documentary on the making of this film). akira's rare smile was healing, as was seeing the children finding joy in growing plants in ramen pots, or eating their favourite candy. the setting of the flat feels claustrophobic and suffocating, and the shots outside really are a breath of fresh air. the children's utter joy at just being able to walk outside is extremely bittersweet, when they are greeted with the apathy of the outside world.

the juxtaposition of akira's resignation of the dream that their mother would return, and yuki's hope that her birthday wish of her mother's presence would come true is noteable. experience has withered akira's soul into that of a pessimist, while yuki's naivety has a small flame still burning until her final breaths.

yuki's death was as equally devastating as it was relieving. what was in her future? it seems that she was hardly registered as a living person, what could the world give her, other than indifference? nobody knows that she existed, nor that she died, except from us, the viewer, and the family of 'nobodies'. of course, her not existing on paper did not mean that she did not, but it did mean that only her present did.

i've heard that this is based loosely on a particular case, though i'm sure that, unfortunately, this film will resonate with many who've been abandoned, temporarily or permanently, or children who were forced to grow up too fast, in any manner, especially for those who have had to grow up for the sake of those more vulnerable than them, who have done nothing but sacrifice. i hope for all akiras, kyokos, shigeru and sakis, that an apology and compensation owed to you by the world is given in some way, and that all the 'freedom' given to those who embody the role of the mother in this film is proven to have a heavy cost.