winteraeon
This review may contain spoilers
Heartbreaking
This short film builds as it goes on. It starts with the main character having a panic attack while attempting to be intimidate with his girlfriend. He’s just as confused as we are, it seems.
What, exactly, is going on at home can only be speculated about Given the short format of the film, we don’t get a lot of exposition there. I’ve seen some speculate that the father has made self pleasure forbidden and the shower scene was about ensuring the main character wasn’t pleasuring himself. I’ve seen some speculation about whether or not he had developed “normally” and the father checking the status of his genital development.
I’m not entirely sure why, but while watching the film I wondered if our main character was intersex. There is an enormously diverse range of physical development possibilities among intersex people. Something about the way the father shakes his head in the bathroom scene, like he’s disappointed, and the way the boy doesn’t even want to look at his own nude body in the mirror made me think perhaps this was the case.
Regardless of whether the main character has sexually developed in a way we expect a cis boy to or whether the father was a zealot about abstaining from masturbation, what is unarguable is that the father is abusive. You do not need to touch or penetrate an individual for it to be sexual abuse. The obvious trauma (he clearly has PTSD, experiencing flashbacks to his father’s behavior) reinforces that his has been enduring sexual (and I’d guess emotional) abuse from his father. Moreso his mother’s (? I’m not sure if she’s his mother or older sister) reaction indicates she knows exactly what is going on and implies it had been going on for some time.
The dynamic between our main character and the naked boy on the roof is the one bright spot in the snippet of this boy’s life we see. It is so quickly easy, playful and comfortable between them. However, when another panic attack strikes and our boy even apologizes for it he is never shamed or belittled for his reaction. He is held. He is comforted. He’s told it’s okay. He is hugged. (That head kiss was the sweetest thing.) It is so sweet to watch but so utterly heartbreaking to see him go through that.
What, exactly, is going on at home can only be speculated about Given the short format of the film, we don’t get a lot of exposition there. I’ve seen some speculate that the father has made self pleasure forbidden and the shower scene was about ensuring the main character wasn’t pleasuring himself. I’ve seen some speculation about whether or not he had developed “normally” and the father checking the status of his genital development.
I’m not entirely sure why, but while watching the film I wondered if our main character was intersex. There is an enormously diverse range of physical development possibilities among intersex people. Something about the way the father shakes his head in the bathroom scene, like he’s disappointed, and the way the boy doesn’t even want to look at his own nude body in the mirror made me think perhaps this was the case.
Regardless of whether the main character has sexually developed in a way we expect a cis boy to or whether the father was a zealot about abstaining from masturbation, what is unarguable is that the father is abusive. You do not need to touch or penetrate an individual for it to be sexual abuse. The obvious trauma (he clearly has PTSD, experiencing flashbacks to his father’s behavior) reinforces that his has been enduring sexual (and I’d guess emotional) abuse from his father. Moreso his mother’s (? I’m not sure if she’s his mother or older sister) reaction indicates she knows exactly what is going on and implies it had been going on for some time.
The dynamic between our main character and the naked boy on the roof is the one bright spot in the snippet of this boy’s life we see. It is so quickly easy, playful and comfortable between them. However, when another panic attack strikes and our boy even apologizes for it he is never shamed or belittled for his reaction. He is held. He is comforted. He’s told it’s okay. He is hugged. (That head kiss was the sweetest thing.) It is so sweet to watch but so utterly heartbreaking to see him go through that.
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